If you're like me, you have no patience. Which means that a tantrum at 5pm is bad news for both you and said tantrum architect. But before you do something you'll be sorry for later, quickly place junior in a very long time-out and take your aggression out on a nice package of ground chicken. I always keep my freezer stocked with ground chicken for exactly this reason. If you're lucky enough to have remembered to take it out of the freezer in the morning, you can get right to work kneading your hands through the ground slimy bits right at 5pm. If you need to nuke it for a minute, that's fine too. But in the end you'll have accomplished two things while you're punishing your child. One, you'll have made a healthy dinner and two, you'll have gotten out a lot of stress and anxiety.
Ingredients:
• One Package Ground Chicken (or Turkey)
*I prefer the taste of ground chicken as it's not as gamy
• Worcestershire Sauce
• Ketchup
• One egg
• Soy Sauce
• One package onion soup mix
• 1/2 onion
• Parsley
• Bread Crumbs
Note: For most of the recipes in this blog, exact amounts will not be used. Why? Because a) it doesn't matter and b) I don't have time to find the right spoons or measuring cups. Recipes chosen here will all taste good whether you use a teaspoon or a tablespoon, a cup or a half of a cup of whatever it calls for. Just use a little sechel. If you don't know what that means, Google it.
Directions:
Wash hands. This is imperative as you're about to annihilate the ground chicken.
Rinse the chicken and put it in a bowl.
Proceed to massage, mince, pound, beat, do whatever you want to do to get out your aggression for your kid on the chicken for a minute or two...longer if necessary. Turn on White Snake for added effect.
Dice the onion and add. Use onion to induce tears.
If kid shows up unexpectedly, show him how much you have been crying because of his behavior.
Squirt a little ketchup, toss in a bit of the Worcestershire sauce, a couple of shots of the soy sauce, sprinkle in the package of onion soup mix (if you don't have just use some Kosher salt and Onion Powder), bread crumbs and the egg.
Repeat hand mincing should your kid still be crying. If not, let him out, order him to wash his hands and then allow him to get out his own aggression on your ground chicken as a peace offering.
Make patties out of the chicken burgers.
Spray grill with nonstick spray (before turning on) and grill on medium until fully cooked (appx 4-5 minutes per side) or pan fry until no longer pink in the middle.
Serve with pita pockets and top with guacamole and pre-shredded lettuce. These are the most delicious chicken burgers you'll ever eat!
*Timeout Tip*
When you've just about lost it, tell your child that you need a Time-Out instead of him. Say something like, "Mommy is feeling very angry right now and needs a time out so she doesn't yell at you more than she already did," before you send him to his room. This will show him that Mommies, too are capable of misbehavior and need some time to cool off before reentering the family space. If this doesn't work, just put him in a Time-Out and continue mincing your burgers. Raise volume of White Snake if necessary.
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